I hate the word 'normal development'
I know parents with 'neurotypical children' (this is the PC way of saying 'normal child') like to know if there babies or children are normal, and if they are developing in the normal pattern. But what is actually normal and who decides what is?
I know Ellie doesnt fit into the normal development category, and according to society in relation to her development is not a 'perfectly normal child'.
These thoughts dont creep into my mind too often.
If we are at home alone, or we are out with friends and not too many kids, these thoughts dont enter my mind really at all....
Its when there are more kids around, and I see what they can do, and how they do it with such ease. Its when babies or children younger then Ellie pass her in their development.
I know this is something that is going to continue happening for the rest of Ellies life. I know I said I HATE the word 'normal'
But.... how sometimes, oh just sometimes I wish Ellie was normal
My mind is constantly thinking of how I wish our life was normal and in turn Violet to be neurotypical.
ReplyDeleteFor me this is whenever she is around other kids her age, older or younger. What really makes me upset is when I see babies around 12-18 months that can do things with such ease and Violet still struggles to achieve or cant do at all at nearly 5 years old!
It's even worse now she can tell me her frutrations like I mentioned on my last blog post she says "want walk like she does" pointing to other little girls :( makes my heart ache...
Sending you big hugs Melissa and personally I feel your thoughts on this are so valid!
Melissa,
ReplyDeleteI understand your feelings perfectly on this one.
I think I speak for every parent who has a child with special needs that if given the chance to make their child into a "neurotypical" one, we would in a heartbeat. At least, I know that I would. Having been on this road of developmental delays twice and having been blessed with one who is developing "normally," I can say without hesitation that I do find life easier and more fun when those milestones just come as they should. The stress, the worry, and the anxiety of wondering if and when and how my daughters will accomplish the next life skill that others come about naturally can be exhausting, to say the least.
It may sound cruel to say, but there are days when I wish that EVERY parent had a week when their "normal" child fell behind others; when they could understand first-hand how difficult it is for us emotionally, physically, and spiritually to face a world where our children are often outcast because of their delays. I am not one to wish bad things on people, but I really do not think people understand the challenges we face when we raise our children with challenges.
Ellie is a beautiful girl, and I pray every day for miracles for her and all of our little ones that they grow to live as "normal" a life as possible. Love & Hugs! xo
Nothing like a bunch of NT kids to make you face reality! I also love the idea of staying home and thinking we are a normal family as such! lol
ReplyDeleteI agree it does get harder or rather there are more social opportunities where you can notice difference more readily. Be kind to yourself on those days, eat chocolate and give Ellie heaps of cuddles and kisses xo Bron
normal is boring Mel... sometimes, it is good to be special...
ReplyDeleteLove your Blog! I don't think anyone in the world is normal. We are all unusual in different ways. I have been successful at surrounding myself with other families like ours, and seem to forget that there is another world out there.
ReplyDeleteI am reminded of this "Normal" world when Jake does something and does not understand what he did. The other day he was exicted about a movie and accidently kicked me in the face as I was getting him dressed. AFO's hurt when your kicked in the head. He was laughing the whole time, and did not realize that I was hurt.
Jake is almost 10 and functions at about a 2-3 year old level. Even though he cannot do alot of things. He is happy, I don't have to struggle wondering if my typically neurodevelopmental child is happy. My job is done. He is happy.
Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh. I hate the word normal as well. I prefer typical. And, like you said, what is normal/typical? I actually wrote a whole rant about the term "special needs" on my blog a few months ago. Focus on what Ellie does that IS typical. For example, she's OVERLY beautiful! :)
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