Being happy doesnt mean that everything is perfect.

It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections...

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Bitter Sweet

Bittersweet. Meaning: Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure

The word 'bittersweet' has been going around and around in my head for a few weeks now. I think sometimes having a child with a disability forces you, wether you like it or not, into a world that is 'bittersweet'

I think I have always been in this 'Bittersweet' world. However having Cooper has made me realise this. 

There are times with Ellie, when things are really hard... Like when she is not herself and you don't know why, because she cant verbalise it to you. Or like when you see her really wanting to do something like walk, and she is giving it her all, but she just doesn't have the balance or strength yet... the look in her eyes shows she really wants to do it. 

Its also pulls at the heart strings watching how at ease Cooper is with drinking out of a bottle, holding his head up high, and holding onto rattle when it is given to him.. Things that Ellie really struggled to do. These times are bitter because it really smacks you in the face how hard having a child with a disability is. 

Then there are the 'Sweet' Times, like when they learn a new skill, it could be as basic as  holding onto a toy, responding to their name, or even waving... then there are the bigger milestones.. sitting, self Independence such as eating and drinking, crawling, standing, the list goes on.. Not all kids with a disability reach all these milestones. 

But believe me when they reach a milestone. No matter how big or small, the feeling is so unbelievably sweet, that for that moment in time you forget about the 'Bitter' times
and you SMILE

These 2 make me smile...!!


  1. Yep, I totally get what you mean. Having a 'neurotypical' child confronts you all over again. But you watch as Cooper motivates Ellie and the rivalry begins! Wait until you see the relationship between them develop. It is like nothing else on this earth. I have teary moments ALL the time, over all of the 'bittersweet' moments. xoxxxx

  2. Beautiful!!! Your two amazing children make me smile as well!!

  3. I think once you have a child who has special needs or a disability, you certainly discover that a milestone is a milestone, no matter when it occurs and it is so cherished and so celebrated. I used to have a lot of those bittersweet moments with the twins. It was hard to feel anyother way when you have the other twin reminding you just how easy it should be :(

    These days I am less worried about getting to the big ones (although we have some big milestones in the making) I just see each little step as progress and a pretty awesome reason to celebrate either way!!

    Love the gorgeous pic of them both xx