Being happy doesnt mean that everything is perfect.

It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I wonder what she thinks...???

Lately I have had a lot of people ask me "How do you know if Ellie likes something" and "How do you know if she dislikes something" When you have a child that is non verbal I think it is a mixture of 2 things that help you work these out.

1. As Ellie cannot verbalise her thoughts she is forced to let us know in other ways
2. As a parent we have had to become aware of what she does in these situations.

For example when Ellie likes something, she laughs, shakes her head, moves her hands or feet or whole body, or grins with anticipation.

When she doesnt like something she can scream, screach, arch her back, try to throw her body out of the highchair, pram, chair etc.

Does this paint a clear picture??

Working out what Ellie likes & dislikes is not hard to do....

However one thing that has entered my mind alot lately is working out 'what she thinks', 'what goes through her head'

There are many times I catch her looking at Me, Luke or another family member, a toy, Tv with a look on her face. A look of knowing... knowing that this person is 'one of her own', knowing that this toy is her fave and she shakes with excitement... But what does she think??

I would love to know the thoughts that run through her head?? In time we are hopefull that Ellie will become somewhat verbal and that she will be able to verbalise her thoughts.... But in the meantime we will be left wondering, and left to work out if we can deceifer her thoughts through her actions


  1. I have often wondered about the same thing-- even about my "typically-developing" child. Wouldn't it be wonderful to know that one day we will have some concrete answers to our questions? However, truth be told, we will never know what our children are thinking...unless they choose to tell us. :-)

  2. I have been wondering for the past 9 years what Ryley is truly thinking. Braeden can tell me what he is thinking and it is the most amazing thing in the world. But you know what, sometimes all I have to do is look Ryley in the eye and he can 'tell' what his thoughts are. It is hard to explain. Because he is non-verbal, I have had to learn his language. I listen to his sounds, I watch his body, but most of all, I can 'read' his eyes.
    It would be far easier if he could talk. But he can't and never will. Which is just him.

    You already can read Ellie. Hopefully as she gets older and starts to verbalise, or have alternative communication, you will have a greater chance of knowing what she is thinking.

    But good point Laurie- I guess our kids, no matter what their abilities, will always only tell us some of what they are thinking!

  3. Oh I know what you mean! This can be so hard somtimes, so frustrating and heartbreaking. ((HUGS))

  4. Its amazing how they can communicate without words as there are so many ways of communication! Jasmine is really starting to pick up sign which is helping us out a lot!