Being happy doesnt mean that everything is perfect.

It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

When will society realise they too are humans???

I have bloged a few times recently on how upset and angry I get at the comments that people make about Ellie or the stares that she gets. This is one topic that makes my quite angry.

The title of my blog today stems from the above but also from what happened to a friend recently. My friend has the most beautiful boy, he is social, smiley, loves to play, loves to be around other kids etc... he is just a normal boy, and he has down syndrome. Recently before he started kinder, a mum complained that there was going to be a down syndrome boy in her son/daughters class.... Gasp!!!!!!!!!! I was horrified when I heard this. She hadnt even met the boy yet!!!

This got me thinking, here I am complaining about the stares and comments that are made about Ellie, but what chance do the kids of today have with parents like this who are ignorant and unacepting of kids with a disability.

What people need to realise is that kids with special needs, disabled kids, kids that are different are just like you and me..... yes they are different, in their very own unique way, but that doesnt make them less human... that is the thing they are humans, they have thoughts, feelings, etc.... I hate that Ellie may grow up into a world where there are still ignorant rude people who cannot accept this

To finish I want to tell you how a friend of mine explained Ellie to her 4 year old daughter when asked why she has one eye.....

My friend answered, "well you know how you have curly hair, and some people have straight hair. Some are short and some are tall... everyone is different. This is also the same with Ellie, she is differnet, but only because she has one eye..."

I loved the way that she discussed Ellies point of difference with her in a human way... this is what society needs to lean.

Remember... at the end of the day, these kids too are human


  1. I totally agree with your concerns of acceptance of our girls. To see they are human should not be so hard to ask!

    It is a huge reflection on how the children have been brought up as to how they see life and people.

    For Violet, I explain about that her eye stopped growing, so it isn't the right size.

    It is definately all about educating others, if they spent 5 minutes with our children they would realise how special they are and can teach you so much about life and what really matters in it.

    Thinking of you

  2. I completely agree with what you wrote. I recently had a friends 8y/o son say that Dylan "looked funny." I asked him why he thought that and he said he "didn't know." My friend quickly explained to her son that Dylan was special, not "funny looking" and needed our love. For me I wasn't mad at her son it just made me sad to hear him say that. I know it can definetley be hard at times and I also wish that people were more accepting. If those people could live in our shoes for just one day I think that they would be better people. By having Dylan I have learned more about compassion, acceptance, unconditional love and life than I thought was possible. We are so blessed to have our children. Stay strong. :)

    p.s. Hailey just walked in and saw Ellie's picture and said "she's cute Mama, can I play with her?" I wish we weren't so far away.

  3. Mel - I really like how your friend explained Ellie's eye (now - EYES... hee hee) to her child. Don't you just love good friends like that?

    It is really sad all of the things that our world takes for granted and all of the kids and adults with special needs that get overlooked, harassed or ignored. Praying for change every day.

    Love ya.

  4. Kristy, I Love that Hailey wanted to play with Ellie... bummer were so far... Maybe we need to visit America : ) Kristy and Lauren if only you lived closer.

    Sarah, I love how you explain that Violets eyes stop growing, its hard to explain to kids, but I like that...

  5. I have been down this road before; my oldest daughter has global physical and mental challenges. The one thing she doesn't have is a physical deformity that makes it obvious to those around her that she is not a typical 11-year old. Hence, she has had many comments made and has been stared at over the years because people didn't bother to consider what might be beyond the outward appearance that might account for her 'differences'. Now that my baby daughter, Kaylee, has been born with Wolf Hirschhorn, I confess that my biggest fears come with the stigma she will face as she grows-- specifically with how little she will grow as she ages. I have learned how to accept a child with developmental delays; I have yet to be the mother of a child with a physical appearance that will make her the subject of stares and gross commentary. People are so insensitive, and as parents, it hurts us as much-- if not more-- than our children when people are quick to pass judgement without asking questions or seem unable to step outside their perfect little worlds with their perfect little children to consider the feelings of others. Maybe someday, our children will teach the "normal" world how to do that.

  6. Mel,
    i feel hurt too for Ellie. sometimes it really true that people always looks at the bad side in everything instead of the good or the beautiful side of anything. may God blessed us all with love...

  7. I get really defensive for my students when people talk about them in a bad way (other teachers in our school). I do not like it either that some pity them... for anything, what our children needs is compassion. Sadly, the world is not full of it.

    I will have my fill of those stares and perhaps unwelcome curious questions, however this time they will be queries about my daughter or comments about my daughter. We'll see how i'd be reacting when that time comes.

    When i took her to the hospital to get some labwork done, the lab technician seemed surprised at how small she was at 2 months. I can tell that she had to stop herself from asking more questions. The NG tube also is a target for curiousity.. i can't wait to meet with the craniofacial doctors to discuss the plans for her cleft repair.

    God bless our children though.... they will forever remain pure and chaste in their hearts and in their thoughts. Our children are better off really.